How to better support your surrogate

The gift of surrogacy can never be returned. There is no amount of money or the perfect gift to truly express the gratitude we (intended parents) feel towards our surrogates. 

So how do you best support this person who is carrying your precious baby?

We asked current and previous Southern Surrogacy surrogates, how they felt best supported by their intended parents. 

Here’s what they had to say:


  1. Have open communication throughout the entire journey. 
  2. Stay connected throughout the pregnancy. Whether that is weekly calls, zoom/Facetime, or even just a text and just check-in with one another.
  3. Check-In once in a while. A simple “How you are feeling today?” can go a long way.
  4. Include the surrogate’s own family and children in the process. Include them in any visits, and ask about them when checking in.
  5. Communicate and respect boundaries.
  6. Attend important OB visits.

Not necessary, but are greatly appreciated…

  1. Remembering the surrogate’s children for holidays or birthdays. Making their children feel loved encourages bonding for everyone!
  2. Make videos or voice messages for the surrogate to play to the baby in utero.
  3. Provide freedom for communication in regard to the surrogate’s nutrition and exercise regimen during pregnancy.
  4. Respect the surrogate’s opinion on ‘if or how’ they receive gifts. Some surrogates like gifts, and some feel uncomfortable receiving gifts. Have that conversation with your surrogate in the beginning so you know where each of you stands. 
  5. If you decide to continue a relationship after the baby, send updates!

Each surrogate is different, and each journey is different. The most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly with each other.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are unsure, reach out to your Psychologist, or Social Worker. They can best guide you on how to handle your situation.

At the end of the day, we all want a positive experience with a happy healthy baby.