How to better support your surrogate

The gift of surrogacy can never be returned. There is no amount of money or the perfect gift to truly express the gratitude we (intended parents) feel towards our surrogates. 

So how do you best support this person who is carrying your precious baby?

We asked current and previous Southern Surrogacy surrogates, how they felt best supported by their intended parents. 

Here’s what they had to say:


  1. Have open communication throughout the entire journey. 
  2. Stay connected throughout the pregnancy. Whether that is weekly calls, zoom/Facetime, or even just a text and just check-in with one another.
  3. Check-In once in a while. A simple “How you are feeling today?” can go a long way.
  4. Include the surrogate’s own family and children in the process. Include them in any visits, and ask about them when checking in.
  5. Communicate and respect boundaries.
  6. Attend important OB visits.

Not necessary, but are greatly appreciated…

  1. Remembering the surrogate’s children for holidays or birthdays. Making their children feel loved encourages bonding for everyone!
  2. Make videos or voice messages for the surrogate to play to the baby in utero.
  3. Provide freedom for communication in regard to the surrogate’s nutrition and exercise regimen during pregnancy.
  4. Respect the surrogate’s opinion on ‘if or how’ they receive gifts. Some surrogates like gifts, and some feel uncomfortable receiving gifts. Have that conversation with your surrogate in the beginning so you know where each of you stands. 
  5. If you decide to continue a relationship after the baby, send updates!

Each surrogate is different, and each journey is different. The most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly with each other.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are unsure, reach out to your Psychologist, or Social Worker. They can best guide you on how to handle your situation.

At the end of the day, we all want a positive experience with a happy healthy baby. 


Ways to cope with  the “Hurry Up and Wait” game

In the beginning of your Surrogacy journey you probably did the following…

You probably researched online what the process was all about. You probably found surrogacy influencers and followed their content. You probably spoke to friends, family, and maybe even joined some Facebook groups. You hopefully felt more comfortable the more you learned, and you felt as ready as you could to begin your journey. 

But no matter how prepared you are, no one could prepare you for the inevitable waiting game. 

The constant battle of hurrying up to do something, but once you did it now you have to just wait. 

Hurry up and get on the list, but wait months (or even years) to get matched.

Get matched, and hurry up to to start medical screening. But wait for the results. Wait to see if she is even going to pass medical screening. 

Hurry up to sign the contract, but wait to make sure every I is dotted and T is crossed. Wait for it to be finalized and for everyone to sign.

Hurry up to schedule the transfer, and wait to see if it worked. 

Hurry up to get to the pregnancy, but wait nine months for that baby to get here.

The waiting is the worse part.

How do we overcome this inevitable piece of this puzzle? 

The easiest answer is to stay open and communicate with each other. 

Come up with a schedule on how you will receive updates. Maybe it’s once a week, or after every appointment. If your struggling with the waiting talk to your social worker, or your psychologist. That’s what they are there for. They understand the waiting is hard, and they want to help you through this process. Remember the saying “Good things come to those who wait”? Well it’s true (for the most part). But staying in contact, and being open will go a long way for your mental health and for everyone involved.

Sometimes the waiting will feel never-ending, but remember most of the waiting is out of anyones control, so you must find ways to be patient. Maybe try some of these to get you started:

Distract yourself with other tasks that need to be done, or even things you know should be done, but you have been putting off.

Get physical.  Go for a walk outside, or turn on some music and dance around like no-one’s watching!

Write in a journal, or send a letter to a loved on.

Clean the house (again). 

We know the path to parenthood thru surrogacy has it’s complexities. Which is why we at Southern Surrogacy want you to feel like you have a family to rely on. We want to support you through it all. You are never alone in this process! 


5 Myths about Surrogacy

There is so much information (and misinformation) about surrogacy out there. It’s important to do your research, and ask questions so you have a thorough and complete understanding of the process.  Below are 5 common myths we see when talking about surrogacy. Don’t worry, these are just myths, and we are here to explain the truths within them. 

Depending on the type of surrogacy being used will determine if the surrogate is related to the baby. 

If your going the Gestational Surrogacy route, then the surrogate is simply a host of the embryo. In this case the embryo that is transferred to the surrogate is already genetically created either by the intended parents or embryo donation (or both). 

If your going the Traditional Surrogacy route, then the surrogate doubles as the host and the egg donor.  In this case the surrogate donated her own egg to create the embryo that will be transferred back into her. Because she is donating her own egg, then yes, she would directly be related to the baby.

The reality of surrogacy is not for the faint of heart or vain. Most intended parents fall under these four categories:

1. Same-Sex Male Couples who need a host for their donated embryo’s.

2.Fertility Warriors who have battled infertility and have exhausted all options to carry themselves.

3.Cancer Survivors who can not carry a pregnancy from a previous (or current) cancer diagnosis.

4. Medical complications from a previous pregnancy. Whether the complication is physical or emotional, it is recommended (or sometimes required) that a future pregnancy be carried by a gestational carrier.

The bond with a baby and intended parent starts during pregnancy, but carries on well after the birth of the baby. You and your surrogate will determine what kind of relationship you want during the pregnancy. Our surrogates want to share this experience with you and your partner. Attending Dr. appointments, spending time with your surrogate, talking to your baby in belly, and ultimately being their for the birth are just some ways you can create a bond with your baby. But remember, it’s the relationship you create with your baby after they are born that matters the most. 

If your doing the Gestational Surrogacy route, then the surrogate is not genetically attached to the baby and does not have any parental rights of the baby. More importantly, when pursuing surrogacy your lawyer’s will have you complete a pre/post birth order where parental rights are established. In many cases, this birth order will make it possible for the intended parents to have their names on the birth certificate. 

Remember, surrogates don’t become surrogates to have more children for their own families. They want to help you build your family, not theirs. 

While our surrogates do get compensated for their time, and the work they put in to help you have your baby, they do not simply do it “for the money”.  Here at Southern Surrogacy, we thoroughly screen potential surrogates to ensure they are doing it for the right reasons. Many of our surrogates felt the call to surrogacy when they were young, while some decided to help others build families after seeing loved ones struggle to conceive on their own.

It’s understandable why these myths are so common, but now you know why they are myths and not truth. We know there’s a lot of information out there, if you need help navigating or still have questions/concerns, reach out. We are here to help you every step of the way!


Who are our Intended Parents?  

Surrogacy serves so many different types of couples. Some people use surrogacy as their last option, while others use it as their only option to starting (or expanding) their family.

We see all types of Intended Parents, but most of our IP’s fall under these main categories:

Same-Sex Couples

Surrogacy allows same-sex male couples to have children that are biologically related to their parents. This is one of a few options for same-sex male couples to have children, but the only option for same-sex couples to have children that are genetically connected to their parents. 

Fertility Warriors

Surrogacy allows couples who have battled Infertility, and have exhausted all other options to still have children. Some of our couples have spent years trying every-type of fertility treatment out there, but have unfortunately been unable to have a child.

Cancer Survivors

Couples that have battled through cancer, and are no longer able to carry their own pregnancy seek surrogacy to build their families. Battling cancer does not come without its effects, whether it’s on the body or the mind. Surrogacy allows these warriors to still build their family, while not interrupting their own battles with cancer. 

Medical Reasons

Some of our couples cannot carry a pregnancy due to medical reasons or complications from a previous birth. These couples seek surrogacy because they cannot continue using their own bodies, but still wish to build their own families.  They need a surrogate to take the physical burden off their plates.

These are four of the many different types of intended parents looking for Surrogates. Despite their path to Surrogacy, they all seek one thing, a loving-giving-selfless women who will help make their family-building dreams comes true! 

Want to meet some of our Intended Parents?

Apply to be a surrogate for Southern Surrogacy today!


You’ve been matched! Now What?

So you finally got the call! “You’ve been matched” echos on the other side. Your mind and body fill with emotions. You’re excited, nervous, anxious, and ready for the next steps. 

But what are the next steps? 

We have compiled a general checklist for the next steps after being matched. 

Keep in mind this graphic is just an overview. The process of Surrogacy is not a “one size fits all”. There are multiple parties involved and laws to abide by so every scenario is different. 

BUT we thought it would be helpful to get an idea of what to expect in the next stage of your  journey. 

We hope you find this checklist helpful as you navigate the next steps in your journey!

And don’t forget to celebrate this momentous occasion! We couldn’t be more excited for you and your family!


The Surrogacy Process for Gestational Carriers

The Surrogacy Process can be very overwhelming and confusing. The good news is your not alone! We at Southern Surrogacy are here to help you through the whole process. We have a team to explain and walk you through every step. 

But sometimes it’s nice to see an overview of how the process will unfold.

Take a look at the graphic below to gain an understanding of the Surrogacy process for our  Gestational Carriers:

Keep in mind this graphic is just an overview. The process of Surrogacy is not a “one size fits all”. There are multiple parties involved and laws to abide by so every scenario is different. 

We hope you find this resource useful and reassuring, and we can’t wait for you to start your journey!


How to support someone going through Surrogacy

Do you know someone going through Surrogacy? Maybe it’s a friend thinking of becoming a Surrogate. Maybe it’s a family member wanting to find a Surrogate to build their family. Whether it’s a Surrogate or an Intended Parent, support is the most important aspect of the Surrogacy journey.

Here are some ways you can support your loved one on this journey of family-building!

  1. Do some research
    1. Research to understand the basics of Surrogacy. You don’t have to know everything, but knowing the basics of the process will help you feel more confident in what’s going on. Make sure your research comes from a medically-backed website. 
    2. Some good places to start:

2. Don’t give advice

Surrogacy can be very overwhelming for the person going through the process. Sometimes we want to help so much that we give advice on what to do. Try to limit the advice, unless asked for advice. Your advice may come with the right intentions, but remember, Surrogacy involves multiple parties, so it’s not as simple as it may appear. Every decision must be discussed and agreed upon within all parties involved. Instead of giving advice, ask your person where their head is at and what they think of certain situations. 

3. Ask questions

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. The person going through Surrogacy may or may not know the answers, but the fact that you asked shows you’re interested. Maybe your question is something they never thought of. Maybe your question is something they were thinking about too, and now you have created an open environment to promote dialogue. Not sure what to ask? How about a simple “How are you feeling?” Or “any updates?”. Simple questions that show you support them. 

Surrogacy is a long and delicate process. Not everyone chooses this path to build a family so it’s only natural if you don’t know much about it or know how to be supportive. But, you don’t have to relate to Surrogacy to be able to support someone going through it. Anything you do to be there for your person is helpful. Be open, be honest, and just be there. 

If you need more ideas on how to support your person, reach out to us. We have a wonderful community of Surrogates and Intended Parents who would love to help you!


5 Ways to Survive the Holidays while waiting to be Matched 

It’s that time of year again, the holidays. For most this time of year is a Season of love and happiness. A time for traditions, get togethers, and a time of togetherness with loved ones. 

But for some of us, it’s a time of struggle. A reminder of the family we wish we had, and the activities we want to participate in, but we can’t. 

We know sitting on a list, waiting to be matched can feel endless and daunting. 

We know you’re yearning for more, we know your pain, we feel it too. 

But you can survive this holiday season, maybe even enjoy it too! 

Here are our five suggestions on how to survive the holidays, while you wait to be matched:

  1. Work on traditions
    • Identify what traditions you want to have with your dream family. Maybe they are old family traditions you want to continue, or maybe you want to create new traditions. Whatever you choose, identify them and try them out this year with just you and your current family scenario. Yes, it might sting a little the first time, but think of this year as a “practice run”. You never know, you may discover something new that sparks new light in your spirit!
  2. Fundraise
    • The holidays are a great time to fundraise. Remember when we were in school and did those Gift Wrap fundraisers? Why not try something like this to help fund your own Surrogacy journey? Try a Puzzle Fundraiser, or maybe make something homemade and sell to friends and family. If your not crafty, try a gift wrapping service, or personal shopping services.Everyone is overwhelmed during the Holidays, and there are tons of ways you can help someone else, (but charge a small fee to help yourself too). Surrogacy is expensive, and every penny counts. 
  3. Find your own Surrogate
    • Putting yourself out there can be scary, but you never know who you will meet or what you will find. Take some cute holiday pictures, write a blurb on what you’re looking for in a Surrogate and post it on Social Media. Ask family and friends, to share. Or make a short video on who you are and that you’re looking for a Surrogate. Not sure what to do or how to do it? Ask us! We can assist you in making one, or make one for you! We want to help you find your match!
  4. Have a Random year
    • Do something random this year. Just because the holidays are here, doesn’t mean you have to participate (and that’s okay). Or maybe you don’t participate the way you normally would. Use this time of year to travel somewhere you’ve been wanting to go! Stay at a friends house you haven’t seen in a while instead of your parents house. Make a non-traditional meal this year instead of your usual. Maybe this year isn’t going to end the way you thought, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make something great out of it. Use this year as the one year you could do whatever you wanted, that maybe you normally couldn’t get away with.
  5. Take Care of Yourself
    • Do something just for you. Whether it is something fun like ice skating, making a new recipe, getting a massage or curling up and reading a book. Do what you need to do to do some self-care. The holidays are called “holidays” because it means you should take a little vacation from your day to day.

However you decide to survive the upcoming holidays, know we are here for you in any way. We have a community of Intended Parents that would be happy to connect with you! You’re never alone in this journey.


Three Things every Surrogate should include in their contract

When a Surrogate matches with Intended Parents, there’s an overwhelming feeling of excitement. At first, you  might think about the gift you’re able to give to this family, and all the hope you are inspiring to others. It’s hard not get all caught up in the happiness of it all. But it’s important to make sure you’re covered for any possible situation that may arise. Yes, be excited and enjoy, but make sure you’re also protected. 

This is where your Surrogacy Contract comes into play. This contract is a legally binding contract between you and your Intended Parents. Your Lawyer will review the contract on your behalf, and talk to you through all the items that should be included (or changed)

Today, we want to discuss 3 of the most important things that should be included in your contract:

  1. Insurance that is Surrogacy Friendly

Having Insurance that is Surrogacy friendly should include coverage for prenatal care and delivery during your pregnancy. It should also include any out-of-pocket costs for medical reasons. You also want to make sure your insurance is reviewed again during any open-enrollment periods, or change in employment, to ensure no exclusions have been added.  If your insurance has an exclusion for Surrogacy, then a new Surrogacy-friendly policy will need to be purchased and your Intended Parents will be responsible for the premiums, deductibles, and co-pays for the new insurance. 

  1. Outline clear expectations on Termination or Selective Reduction of Pregnancy

You want to make sure both you and your Intended Parents have the same view points regarding termination or selective reduction of a pregnancy, and that those expectations are written clearly in your contract. Your contract should include information that track the laws in the surrogate’s state and where the surrogate gives birth.

  1. All expenses are outlined and covered by Intended Parents

During pregnancy, a lot of extra expenses could arise. These expenses should be  paid for by your Intended Parents and should be written in your contract. 

Expenses could include (but are not limited to):

  • Travel Expenses
  • Maternity Clothes
  • Co pays, deductibles or out of pocket payments
  • Life insurance
  • Lost wages during Pregnancy
  • Childcare and Housekeeping if you go on bed rest
  • Incidental Expenses of any kind

Every pregnancy is different, and while the needs of each Surrogate are not the same, they all require one thing-Protection. Your contract is meant to protect you, your Intended Parents, and the Pregnancy. Take your time reviewing your contract, and never hesitate to ask questions or ask for clarification. 


Top Ten things to think about with Surrogacy, now that Roe vs. Wade is overturned

The Supreme Courts decision of overturning “Roe vs Wade” has left many in the Surrogacy world confused, concerned, and uncomfortable. We want our Intended Parents, and Surrogates to know that we understand your frustrations, and we are here to assist you in any way we can. 

It’s important to understand that each state has its own Surrogacy Laws. As we learn more information about the changes in laws for the states that we work with, we will share those changes with you. But, no matter what state you live in, there are certain things you can think about and consider before you starting your Surrogacy Journey.

  1. It is important to understand the laws surrounding abortion in the Surrogate’s state, and the state where the embryos are located, before starting your surrogacy journey. It is key to have an experienced fertility attorney (not a family law attorney) in the state that the Surrogate will be giving birth in, to advise you on the impact of the laws on your surrogacy journey. One place to look for an experienced attorney is
  1. The wait times to be matched with a Surrogate may be longer. More women may be concerned with the impact on the overturning of Roe v. Wade and thus may not be willing to be a Surrogate. Also, COVID has made an impact on matching wait times, due to Fertility Clinic protocols and new requirements reflecting those protocols. 
  1. Intended Parents and Surrogates should have the same views regarding abortion and selective reduction.  
  1. At the heart of a surrogacy journey is trust between the Intended Parents and the Surrogate! So it is imperative that Intended Parents and Surrogates have open communication and trust each other throughout the process. 
  1. Discuss with the Surrogate whether she would be willing to travel to another state if her home state didn’t allow for an abortion, and is this permitted by her state’s laws. Intended Parents may be responsible for the travel and medical expenses related to the Surrogate going out of state for an abortion.
  1. Parties need to know whether a Surrogate’s insurance will cover the cost of an abortion and if it will be covered if she goes out of state for an abortion.
  1. Intended Parents may want to consider having their embryos genetically tested and/or themselves genetically tested to understand the likelihood for a healthy baby.
  1. Intended Parents should discuss with their doctor what genetic conditions can’t be tested, so they are educated on conditions that could arise. 
  1. Intended Parents need to understand the laws of the state where their embryos are located to determine their rights regarding how they want to handle any remaining embryos after they have finished building their family.
  1. VOTE!!! It is vitally important to vote so that your voice is heard regarding surrogacy, abortion and your embryos!

We hope this list gives you some important things to think about, and encourages some peace of mind as you navigate Surrogacy during this historical time. 

Remember, we are all in this together. Ask questions, and communicate your concerns with all parties involved in your Surrogacy Journey. 

Surrogates: Apply Now!